Man – “I would like some fries, please. Blonde at the counter – “Ok……………………… and would you like some fries with that?”
A brunette walked into a room and saw her blonde friend whooping and hollering. “What’s the matter?” The brunette inquired. “Nothing at all. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The blonde beamed. “How long did it take you?” “Well, the box said ’3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in a month!”
A blond man entered the emergency room with his two ears burned. “What happened?” asked the doctor. “Well”, the man explained, “my wife was ironing clothing, behind my chair while I was watching TV. She put down the iron next to the phone and when the phone rang I answered the iron.” “Wow that is terrible” responded the doctor, and what happened to your other ear?” “Well” the blond guy responded “Right afterwards, the phone rang again!”
A foreman of a factory was making his rounds inspecting how all of the workers were doing their jobs. “Well” he said to one blond worker, “I see you are doing a very diligent job stamping all of the boxes ‘THIS SIDE UP’. “Yes” the worker replied, eager to please, “and just to be extra sure I stamped the bottom also!”
NASA sends a space shuttle up with two monkeys and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first monkey and asks, “Monkey #1, do you know your mission?”
The monkey replies, “ooah ooah!. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. ooah ooah!”
Then NASA Control asks the second monkey, “Monkey #2, do you know your mission?”
The second monkey replies, “ooah ooah! Once Monkey #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. ooah ooah!”
Then NASA asks the blonde, “Blonde woman, do you know your mission?”
The blonde woman replies, “Ummmmmmm…. Oh yeah, I remember now. ‘Feed the monkeys – and DON’T TOUCH A THING!”
Blonde: “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.”
Psychiatrist: “Don’t you have a cell phone?”
Blonde: “They’re too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car.”
Psychiatrist: “And do you receive any letters?”
Blonde: “No, but I figure it’s because when I’m driving around, my zip code keeps changing.”
A blonde was telling a brunette that her computer broke.
So the brunette said she would check the blonde’s e-mail for her.
The blonde said, ”Cool! E-mail me and tell me what I got.”
This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job.
“Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day,” the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn’t see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best.
She came back sweating like a pig. ”Christ, how many trees did you cut down?” asked the foreman.
”6” she replied.
”What!? You have to do beter than that. Get up earlier tommorow.” The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted.
‘How many this time?” asked the foreman.
”12” she said.
The foreman says, ”That does it. I’m coming out there with you tommorow morning.”
The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, ”This is how to cut down trees really quickly.” He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically. So he asks her what’s wrong. She replies, ”What the hell is that?”